Arguments on Conformed Religion

Pupster was adopted via a breeder from the Midwest. The breeder did an excellent job in training Pupster up until he was 3 months- old enough to be given up to amazing parents like us. When the breeder sent Pupster to Erica, she also supplied a care package filled with treats, food and toys.

The qualtiy of these toys ranged from uber-bougey to down right weird.

There was a “Mommy” dog meant to stay in the crate with pup while he sleeps. ”Mommy” has this cool feature where she simulates a heart beat, so the pup thinks he’s curling up with another member of a pack at bedtime and feels less vulnerable. It’s fucking adorable.

Then there was a blue chew toy, almost twice the size of the pup that resembled a fist, or some sort of apparatus one would buy at a head shop in Chelsea. Alright. Whatever choices Bunny makes in lieu of his sexuality- we will not judge.

But then, there’s the matter of Bunder’s “Nappy” doll. Nappy is a little white dog in baby blue pajamas who holds a blanky and keeps pup company in his playpen (aka ”Darfur”). Until recently, Pupster has always fancied Nappy dog enough to hump him while in one of his pick-me-up-and-love-me-you-pretentious-bitch fits. Then one day, Pupster was nibbling Nappy during a makeout session, and came across this doll’s special feature.

Nappy dog is actually a “Jesus freak”. Rather- when you press a button on Nappy’s paw, he recites THE LORDS PRAYER.

I shit you not friend…OBSERVE:

Being raised a Catholic, I feel I understand the value of conformed religion. I think there is a positive aspect to harboring a spiritual belief system, and using certian principles to reinforce a humanitarian connection amongst the community. I mean, whatever your religion or beleif- again, I don’t judge.

I DO NOT however belive in implanting automatronic creepy ass voices inside stuffed animals that are meant for dogs… and neither does Pupster.

Sweet Jesus. Seriously?

According to Erica and Lindsay- they were just sitting quietly in the studio working when they heard this ‘noise’. Pupster was crying and they had no fucking idea where it was coming from. Who could ever suspect that? Even creepier, the batteries in the Nappy doll were running low, so the voice wound down, lower and slower like a cassette tape getting eaten by a car stereo.

Ultimately, the Lord’s Prayer resounded from nowhere, and was spoken by a demon-like voice. Shit scary.